Stress and Dryness

My hair is finally recovering after a tough year. I had a rough breakup, took care of my sick father until he passed away, handled my dad's affairs including renovating and moving into his house, and mourned the sudden loss of my sweet dog. All of that while trying to be a good mom to my son and stay on top of my new job had me all over the place. Stress really does come out in many ways, even in the health of our hair.

I thought my hair was doing okay at first. I wasn't spending much time on it, and was wearing buns and wigs on days I couldn't deal with it. I soon realized my hair wasn't in the best shape. It was dry and lifeless, wouldn't hold a curl, and didn't absorb products. Then, I noticed lots of shedding. I wore braids all summer, but looking back, I think that was a mistake because I wasn't dealing with my hair, I was just hiding it. And, I think that made it worse. When I took my braids out at the end of the summer, my hair was armpit length, but the ends were a mess. I got a good haircut, which helped a little, but I didn't like how it felt or how it looked.

My hairstylist at the time was using a no-lye relaxer on my hair. I had only used relaxers with lye until I started going to this stylist, so I asked her to change relaxers. That made a difference, but my ends looked thin, like my hair was over processed. I made the decision to go to another stylist who could bring my hair back to health, listened to me, and had me in and out of the salon (Very important!). She has been so helpful, encouraging me to stretch my relaxers and recommending new products to try. She also gave me a great haircut, adding layers and getting rid of the see-through ends. I've been using Hot Six Oil to moisturize and my hair loves it. It keeps my hair moisturized without weighing down. I'm still working on my hair's elasticity so that it holds a curl, but I think that will come with more moisture. 

A few other things I've been doing on my own to help my hair's health:

- Applying black Adore semi-permanent color every 2 weeks. I prefer my hair color more brown, but the black makes it look so shiny and thick! And, I feel like it conditions it so that it accepts products better.
- Prenatal vitamins. My hair really thrived when I was taking prenatal vitamins when I was trying to get pregnant and after I had my son. I had to find the right one for me because I have tried others (including Biotin and Hair, Skin and Nails vitamins) that did nothing. I'm liking the Nature Made brand.
- Wrapping my hair every night. I thought my hair didn't look good after a wrap. Now that it's healthier, wrapping seems like the best thing to keep my hair smooth and looking full and bouncy. I change the direction of my wrap every few nights.
- Gave up using all oils except the Hot Six Oil. I've tried almost every natural oil, but they either sit on my hair, or weigh it down. I'm saving my oils for my skin.
- Took a break from protein. I don't think my hair needs the protein I thought it did. I haven't used a protein conditioner in a couple of months and my hair seems to be doing better.

This past year has reminded me that life, our bodies and our hair change...that's okay, we just have to be ready to deal with that change and pivot when we need to!

First Braid Out in Years!

As my hair gets longer, the less time I want to spend on it. I do a lot of exercising, and I just want to be easy and free this summer. Since I went back to relaxed hair, I have been washing, conditioning and roller setting my hair weekly. Because I'm pretty active, the curls only last a couple of days. I'm looking for easy styles this summer that will keep my hair healthy. I decided to try a braid out on my relaxed hair. I hadn't done a braid out in years!

I shampooed with Cream of Nature Argan Oil from Morocco Moisture & Shine Shampoo, deep conditioned with Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Intensive Hydration Treatment Masque and used Curls Cashmere & Caviar Hair Silk as my leave in. I don't use any of these products on a regular basis, but I wanted as much moisture as possible. I already had them at home, so I gave them a try. I really liked the Curls Cashmere & Caviar leave in- I noticed immediately how much it moisturized my hair. I let my hair air dry loose with a satin scarf around my edges. When my hair was almost completly dry, I created 8 braids using Curls Twist n Shout Cream and avocado oil. I rolled the ends with small perm rods and went to bed.

I was a little nervous to see the result the next morning. I worked out with a scarf around my edges, took a shower, and then took my braids out. I was pleasantly surprised with the results! My hair had great definition, felt moisturized, and looked really full.

This might have not been the best day for me to rock a braid out, because it was SO humid and a little rainy! On top of the humidity, I took a pretty intense yoga class and taught a yoga class. By the end of the day, I had some straight strands. My plan was to put my hair up in 2 pineapples for the night, but because of the humidity, I re-braided my hair.

If I can keep a nice braid out for 4-5 days, I think this will be a good summer style for me!

Please give me any tips on how to master my braid out!

I Was So Wrong About My Porosity!

I know, it's been forever.  Since my last post, my hair has gone through so much, including going back to the relaxer!  More about that later...in this post, I have to discuss how misdiagnosing the state of our hair can result in damage, setbacks, and making bad decisions.

Shortly after I started my healthy hair journey, I diagnosed my hair as low porosity.  For years, I've been doing techniques and using products for low porosity hair.  Most things didn't work, but I kept at it, because I thought it was the right thing to do.  Sometimes, when things worked for me, I stopped doing it because I didn't think it was good for my low porosity hair.

The strand test is the primary reason I thought I had low porosity hair.  My hair floats sometimes, but other times it sinks.  This is a reminder that one test doesn't always determine the answer!  My hair is also dry a lot, but I thought it was blocking moisture out, not letting it slip  through my hair open cuticles.

Lately it's been a challenge managing my hair.  It's been dry, breaking, and hard to keep a style.  A few days ago, I was racking my brain, thinking about what I did when I had healthy hair:

* I deep conditioned consistently
* I used protein often
* I used semi-permanent color (which I've been doing, without stellar results)
* I used Roux Porosity Control once or twice a month

Me talking to myself: Roux Porosity Control- that's what I had been missing! But isn't that for high porosity hair?  But I'm low porosity- why did it work for me?  Let me just buy some and see what happens...

A couple of days later, I bought some and applied it after I rinsed out my deep conditioner.  I left it in about 5 minutes and rinsed.  When it was dry, I had a different head of hair.  Smooth, soft, shiny, manageable. Retains moisture. Holds curls.

Finally, I breakthrough!  I went back and researched hair porosity. Duh, I have almost every symptom of high porosity hair:

• Accepts product, and then is dry shortly after
• Feels dry and coarse
• Absorbs product quickly and then loses moisture fast
• Lacks luster and shine (unless I applied a black rinse, which I don't do anymore)

High porosity hair holds up to 45% of its weight in water. When magnified, hair will have raised or broken cuticles, or part of the cuticles will have been completely removed. This hair type does not hold onto moisture as well and therefore may need some help, even if it is taking in a lot of liquid.

This also leaves the inner cortex exposed and the hair vulnerable, which can lead to damage and split ends. This is usually caused by chemical processes, heat styling, and the elements (salt water, cold dry hair, etc.).

This makes so much sense for me, because I've been relaxed most of my life, and have used color.  Also, I've been saying for years that I need a product that will absorb into my hair and give it some weight.  It's like my hair was always so light and didn't clump well.

Every time I did something for high porosity hair, I thought it was just a fluke.  It's really crazy how all this time, I could have been giving my hair what it needs, but I was doing the opposite.  This is why my mis-diagnosis hurt me and my hair:

* I was using the wrong products and techniques.
* My hair was frizzy and hard to manage
* My hair suffered breakage
* I started to hate my hair
* I went back to a relaxer

Now I know what I have to do for my high porosity hair:

• Deep condition often
• Use protein regularly
• Use heavier products
• Seal moisturizer with oil
• Try not to use any direct heat
• Use gentle, moisturizing shampoo
• Anti-humectants
• Coconut oil, aloe vera and apple cider vinegar are my friends (the jury is still out on this one)
• Roller set and pin curl often- high porosity hair does better when "clumped" together

I'm still kicking myself, because I could have a totally different head of hair right now. But, know I know...and knowing in this case is more than half the battle. Maybe I'll think about transitioning to natural again. I just want to get my hair to a healthy state where I feel optimistic about making that change again.  It was tough for me.

The moral to this story is, LISTEN TO YOUR HAIR.  Regardless of your porosity, texture, color, etc., we all have different heads of hair that react differently to products and techniques.

Changing My Way of Thinking

I've been natural a little over two years, and just in the past couple of months have I really come to love my hair exactly as it is.  It's been hard for me not having the hair I imagined I would or should have.  It's also been hard not comparing my hair with all of the beautiful heads of natural hair I see.

I was flipping through the October issue of Hype Hair magazine, and there was an interview with Nicole Ari Parker.  When she was relaxed and more importantly, since she went natural, she's been one of my hair inspirations.  She said something in this interview that really connected with me:

I did the big chop and I did go through a personal phase where I had to adjust to not having long hair, and reevaluate my version of beautiful or sexy.  Our hair is so emotionally connected to us. We’re used to being bombarded with images about what’s beautiful.  I had to remind myself and reclaim my beauty and let my hair grow out of my head the way it wanted to.  It really gave me myself back, and guess what? 

The minute I stopped perming, the edges came back, the breakage stopped, my hair is thick and long, I can straighten in with a flat iron now, and if I want to have a longer style, I’ll add some extensions in the back.  

I also have a daughter and I wanted her to love her hair.  I wanted her to enjoy the thickness, the bigness, the lushness of her hair and I wanted her to enjoy the versatility.  Sometimes she wants to wear cornrows, sometimes she wants to let it air-dry.  And we wanted to raise a little girl who loves jumping in the pool! [Laughs] We were always taught to be afraid of water [getting our hair wet].  So it’s been a spiritual and a personal journey.

I also went through a long period of time where I had to re-define my idea of beautiful. I'll be honest- right before I went natural, I didn't care for a lot of the natural styles I saw out there.  I made a conscious choice not to follow as many relaxed hair blogs anymore and follow more natural blogs. I created a natural hair pinterest board. And, I worked hard to appreciate my hair and other women's hair how it naturally grew from our heads.

I don't have a daughter, but I have a step daughter, goddaughters, and girl cousins and friends who probably look up to me and look at me as one example of a beautiful black woman. I want to show all of them that you can have thick, kinky hair and be beautiful.  Even now, I still feel a certain way when I walk into an event with women who are all relaxed or have weave down their backs.  But then I remember how unique I look, and how much healthier my hair is.

I also love swimming!  Although my natural hair doesn't do exactly what I want it to do when it gets wet, I force myself to get my hair wet when I'm at the beach and enjoy my time in the water.  I just bring a scarf or something to cover it after I swim if I need to!

These past two years have taught me a lot.  Even on my bad hair days- or days I think are bad hair days - I carry myself like there's nothing wrong.  I put on some red lipstick, cute earrings and a smile, and keep it moving.  And you know what?  Those are the days I get the most compliments on how pretty I look!

Haircut & Wash N Go by Jaded Tresses

A few weeks ago, I signed up for a natural hair workshop through my local natural hair meetup group.  The event was this past Saturday, and I was sick with a head cold. I felt so tired and sick and didn't want to go, but as I was laying in bed, I looked up the presenters online, and I saw that one of the presenters was a natural hair stylist from New Jersey/Brooklyn and she was giving a wash n go workshop. I was skeptical about doing a wash n go on this head, but being that she was from out of state, I wanted to see what she had to say.  I've been thinking about going to NYC to get a professional cut and style, so I thought this would help me decide for sure.  Plus, I had already paid for the workshop!! So I got my sick butt up and went to the event at a restaurant about twenty minutes from my home.

The first half of the workshop was a mixing demo with Candace Kelley of Curl Prep.  She showed us how to make a shea butter (I need to get some REAL shea butter!) and a protein conditioner.  Then, the famous Tameeka aka Jaded Tresses aka the "Curl Whisperer" talked about how anyone can do a wash n go. I was still skeptical, but she took a woman from the audience with 4c hair and did it! She showed us exactly what she did and what products she used. She did the wash n go on very wet hair and used the Sweet Buttah she and Candace promote, and an EcoStyler mix (ecostyler, water, & oil). Then she ran the product through the hair. I still wasn't sure it would work on me, though.

Tameeka was also taking appointments the next day at a local salon, so I book an appointment to get a much needed trim.  She washed and conditioned my hair, and then cut my hair while it was wet.  The then re-wet it and shingled my hair for a wash and go.  I saw my hair curl and clump like never before!  Of course it shrunk a lot as it dried, but at least I had curls.  She told me that I don't have the chronic dry hair I thought I have.  She actually told me that I have a nice head of dense, thick hair.  I really enjoyed Tameeka doing my hair. This was my first time as a natural going to the salon (not including the times I got my hair straightened), and it was a great experience. I was treated with respect, Tameeka took me in a timely manner, she gave me a great scalp massage, and we had a fun and interesting conversation- about hair and other things!  She said she might come back to Boston in November, so I might see her again for some color.

That first night I just put a bonnet on and went to bed. In the morning, I rubbed some of the Sweet Buttah on my hands, fluffed, and went out the door. The next night, I put my hair in about 8 ponytails just to stretch it some, and I still had a cute, curly afro! Tameeka said that I'd probably want to do a twistout by day 4 or 5, but that's cool- at least I don't have to twist every night. My hair finally has shape, I don't have to spend 20-30 minutes a night on it, and it looks cute!

This was my hair on day 3:

And then on day 4 after twisting it the night before using just the Sweet Buttah:

I actually like the wash and go look, so the next time I wash it, I'm going to try and go 4-5 days with the wash n go.  I feel like my experience was just the blessing I needed. I was actually thinking about doing the big chop again and just starting over.  I was frustrated with twisting it every night, not having a shape, and thinking that my hair was dry and unhealthy.  Hallelujah!! 

Product Review: ION Demi Permanent Creme Hair Color

If you've been reading this blog, you know that gray coverage is one of my biggest hair challenges.  I started seeing gray hairs the day I turned 30, and every year, I see a little more.  My gray grows mostly around my edges in the front with some random white strands in my crown.  Every year, they also seem to get more stubborn to color.  Some strands are a different texture than the rest of my hair- more wiry, thick, and harder to control.

For years, I used semi-permanent color, either at home or at the salon, and it worked.  I could apply the color right after relaxing, and it would cover my gray until my next relaxer most times.  I also loved semi-permanent color because it helped moisturize my hair and increase the shine.  It was a great option for my low porosity hair.  A few years ago, I noticed that only the black colors would cover the gray, and that I would have to re-apply every 2-3 weeks.  BUT, I'm allergic to PPD, a chemical that is in a lot of black and dark brown dyes.  After I cut out my relaxer, semi-permanent colors stopped working in my hair altogether.  They didn't cover the gray or help with moisture and shine.  It was a waste of time and money to apply them.   I tried henna, but it ruined my hair (a different story for another time).  Permanent color is not an option for me at this time because I want to get my hair to a healthier state before risking a permanent color.

I had been reading about demi-permanent color, mostly about how it's good for low porosity heads because it lifts the cuticle, allowing moisture in without damage.  I was afraid to try it for a long time, but when my curlfriend Suzy told me about her success with it, I decided to give it a try.  I bought the ION Color Brilliance Intensive Shine Dem-Permanent Creme Hair Color from Sally Beauty for about $5. I also bought the level 10 developer for sensitive scalp for about $2.  I've applied this product twice, so I'll discuss how I applied it both times.

Product Description

• Enhance, change or increase the color intensity
• Ionic protection for stronger hair structure
• Botanically derived nourishing ingredients
• Fade resistant and intense conditioning
• Cover and blend gray hair up to 100%
• Maximum light reflection and shine

Ion Color Brilliance Intensive Shine Demi Permanent Creme Hair Color is a state-of-the-art European Ionic Formula that is a luxurious, long-lasting, deposit-only hair color without ammonia.

Covers and blends gray hair without lifting the hair's natural pigment. Same-day color with chemical relaxers and permanent waves.

The Ionic formula provides protection for stronger hair structure. Ion Color Brilliance Demi Permanent Creme Hair Color contains botanically derived nourishing ingredients with a refreshing fragrance.

Ingredients
WATER, CETEARYL ALCOHOL, ETHANOLAMINE, LAURETH-3, SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE ,OLETH-5 PHOSPHATE ,DIOLEYL PHOSPHATE, SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE, GLYCERYL STEARATE SE, FRAGRANCE, TOLUENE-2, 5-DIAMINE SULFATE, BEESWAX, SODIUM SULFITE, SODIUM SULFATE, 2-METHYLRESORCINOL, P-AMINOPHENOL, EDTA, LIMNANTHES ALBA (MEADOWFOAM) SEED OIL ,ERYTHORBIC ACID, 2-AMINO-3-HYDROXYPYRIDINE, M-AMINOPHENOL ,RESORCINOL, 4-AMINO-2-HYDROXYTOLUENE, 2, 4-DIAMINOPHENOXYETHANOL HCL, SIMETHICONE, GLYCERIN, TRITICUM VULGARE (WHEAT) GLUTEN, ALPHA ISOMETHYL IONONE, CITRONELLOL, GERANIOL, LINALOOL

Directions
Select desired shade. Mix 2 oz. of Ion Intensive Shine Demi Hair Color with 4 oz. ion Sensitive Scalp Crème Developer 10 Volume in a non-metallic bowl. Mixing ratio is 1:2 unless otherwise noted. See Color Objective Chart.

All instructions are based on average texture, normal porosity; Fine hair is much more receptive to hair coloring where coarse hair is not.

Use Ion Color Brilliance Pre-Color Treatment to help ensure even color results from scalp to ends. A 5-minute cool down is recommended if heat is used prior to rinsing. Standard processing time is 10-40 minutes at room temperature and 10-15 minutes with heat. After processing, rinse hair thoroughly until the water runs clear.

Shampoo and style as desired

My Experience

First time: The first time I used this, I bought the #3N Dark Natural Brown Color.  I read a lot of reviews saying that the color results are dark, and if you leave it on long, you'll have black hair.  I didn't want black hair, but I also wanted to make sure the grays were covered.  I mixed the whole bottle of color with the entire bottle of developer (1:2 ratio).  It took me about 10 minutes to apply the color, and then I sat under the dyer for 30 minutes.  I then co-washed it out.  I kept it in too long, because my hair was pretty much black!  I also had some staining around my hairline.  The skin along my edges felt a little irritated. I was so scared I had an allergic reaction, but this product doesn't contain PPD.  I think I just left it on too long, and I had applied the product to my edges first.  The irritation went away after a day or so.

Second time: I applied the demi permanent again about 5 weeks later.  The grays that the color covered were still almost black, but I had a lot of newly grown grays around my edges.  This time, I used color #4N Medium Natural Brown. Again, it took me about 10 minutes to apply to my whole head, but then I just walked around with a plastic cap on my head for another 10-15 minutes, without heat.  I shampoo'd the color out this time. The shorter time with the product in my hair, along with using shampoo prevented the staining, the dark, dark color, and the skin irritation.  The result was a dark brown, but not black at all.  A week later, I noticed my hair looked lighter brown in the sun.

Both times, my hair was shiny and so moisturized...or, should I say the product opened my cuticles so that I could get some moisture into my hair.  Since using this product, my hair responds to products SO much better.  Before, any product just sat on my hair, but now I can actually form an accurate opinion on a product since my hair is finally absorbing it.  There are also a lot less broken hairs in my brush, on my shirt, and on the floor.  I haven't seen the color run at all, even when using shampoo. The only grays I see now are the new ones popping up!  I really wished I had tried this at the beginning of my natural hair journey, because it would have saved me months and months of dryness, breakage and frustration.

Summer Hair Vacation is Over!

I'm sad that summer is coming to an end.  However, I am excited about all of my hair possibilities this fall!

Since the end of April, I had been wearing crochet braids as a protective style.  I kept them in for about 4 weeks at a time, and I have installed them 4 times over the summer.  It was an easy style to install and maintain, and I was happy to have a four-month break from my hair.  However, it's really important to me that I know how to take care of my own hair and have it looking good.  I took a few days off from the crochet braids and worked on my twistouts a few times.  I also applied a demi permanent color between installations, which not only did a good job covering my grays, but also opened my cuticles to allow more moisture.  I took them out last week, and I want to wear my natural hair for a while.

I'm still learning more about keeping my hair moist.  I recently did the Cherry Lola treatment, which my hair loved. I also left in some conditioner, which has helped keep my hair moist for the past five days (a miracle for me).  I'm not sure what good gel is doing to my hair, if any, so I've challenged myself not to use gel.  In my most moisturized look, I didn't use any gel, just a curling cream.

Here is a little collage of my hair in between my crochet braids.  I noted where I achieved the most moisture. This is also when I have the best curl definition.

I liked how my hair came out in each photo, but for different reasons: moisture, definition, how my hair falls, how thick and healthy it looks, how stretched it is.  I would love to be able to roll them all into one, but I'm getting there!

I've been using some different products, so I'll be doing more product reviews in the near future. I just want to use them more consistently to have solid opinions.

New Year, Better Hair

Happy 2014!

I had a great Christmas and New Year, and a long, much needed break.  Since I didn't have to go to work for a couple of weeks, I got a little lazy about twisting my hair every night.  This was a good thing, because I got to be creative with styling and trying new products.  I do still need to re-twist every night though, because my hair frizzes a lot, even if I put my hair into a bunch of ponytails at night like I used to.  I'm going to stick with my twist/bantu knot out for a little while longer until my hair grows some more.  My twistouts have been less than stellar, mostly because I can't keep the ends curly, and I want my hair to fall down a little more instead of sticking out!

I also stopped blow drying my hair before twisting.  It's not as necessary as I thought it was to achieve a good bantu knot out, and I was losing so much hair in the process (breakage and shedding).  Also, my hair is so much more moist and "springy" when I don't blow dry.

I'm still using most of the same products, but I've incorporated protein and castor oil into my regimen again. I've been using Aphogee Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor every week or two, and it really has helped cut down on the shedding (I am a heavy shedder!).  The castor oil helps control frizz, keeps my hair moisturized longer, and creates more defined twistouts.  It's definitely a winter staple.  I always think that the heavier products weigh my hair down, but they've been pretty good lately- probably because it's winter, and the air is so cold and dry.

The most exciting thing was that I was able to pull my hair into my first puff!  I'm not able to pull it all into a ponytail, but I can use a headband or a scarf to pull up the sides, front and back.

Since I've been on such a good roll lately with my hair and it's moisture level, I had been afraid to try anything different.  But, I'm glad I did, because now I know not to be afraid of heavier conditioners and moisturizers and oils like castor oil and coconut.

Consistent Results

One of my challenges with natural hair is consistency.  Sometimes I think I'm doing the exact same thing to my hair, and the results are completely different.  I don't remember having that challenge with relaxed hair!

However, I am learning how to get consistent results.  I try to deep condition every week with heat.  I am paying more attention to the weather since the humidity levels can affect my hair.  I am also more aware of how much product I use.  For example, I thought my hair hated Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, but now I think I was just using too much.  Now I use less than a dime sized amount to get moisturized and (somewhat) well-behaved hair.

The journey continues...

I'm also learning to embrace the frizz...and accepting that my hair doesn't do what everyone else's does.

Check out this frizz forecast to check the humidity in your area and plan your hair style!

March 2013 Update

I really feel like I'm turning the corner with my hair and things are getting much better!  The past 6 months have been challenging, mostly due to a lack of moisture.  I now know how to keep my hair moist, and I'm starting to enjoy the styles too.

A couple of weeks ago I was so frustrated with my hair.  I tried to get it braided, but the braiding shop was booked. I then tried to make an appointment at the salon to get it flat ironed, but I got nervous because I don't trust anyone in my hair at this point.  So I decided to straighten it myself. I hadn't straightened my hair once since my big chop in June.  I knew it could mess up my curl pattern, but I felt so bad about my hair that I had to try something.  My hair is kinky, but I have no definite curl pattern.  If anything, it would loosen my curls/kinks, which isn't a bad thing.  Even though my hair is pretty soft, it shrinks up about 95%.

Here are the results of my flat iron:

I didn't blow dry it, I just air dried in twists and then flat ironed.  I HATED the heat protectant I used (Tresemme).  It made my hair feel hard and dry and tangled.  I was shocked how easy it was to flat iron my hair.  I set my flat iron to 265 degrees and only had to go over my hair once in most areas.  However, ,my ends were so bad that they wouldn't even get straight and curl. So I trimmed about 1/4 of an inch. The next day I bought some Jane Carter Nourish and Shine and that really moisturized and softened my hair. I can't believe I'm just trying this. It's really good, even at the high price.

I didn't love it, but I liked it, and I got a boost of confidence seeing my growth.  I wore it straight for about a week, and either used satin rollers or tied the sides down at night. For my next wash, I was excited to see if the trim I gave myself would make my twistouts look better, and it did!

After washing and conditioning, I used the tension method to stretch my hair out a little. This made it sooo much easier to apply and distribute product.  When I took my twists out the next day, my curls weren't that defined, but I didn't use any gel or holding product, so I expected that.  I was just happy my hair was moist and looked cute.  I decided (out of boredom) to put 4 cornrows on one side.  A couple of days later, I re-twisted with a little gel on the ends, and my hair looked so much better.  

I don't want to flat iron my hair too much if I can help it, but it's a nice change every month or two.

Moist!

My hair has stayed moisturized for 3 weeks straight. It's like a miracle!  I've been doing a few things to keep my hair moist:

1. I colored my hair with semi-permanent color
I've always thought that my naked hair was a dull brown and prone to dryness.  I thought henna would help, but it really hasn't helped with sheen or moisture retention.  Since my allergic reaction to the black color I had put in last year, I've been very wary of color.  However, I remembered how a semi-permanent color always gave life, shine and moisture to my hair. A few weeks ago, I applied Adore semi-permanent color in Dark Red Brown.  I noticed a difference in moisture and shine as soon as I applied it!  My hair looks thicker, and seems to absorb products better.

2. I've been deep conditioning with heat
I mentioned this in a post last month.  Consistently sitting under the dryer for at least 30 minutes with my deep conditioner has worked wonders.  

3. I've been doing a final conditioner rinse with Trader Joe's Nourish and Spa Conditioner, and leave a little of it in my hair
I bought this product a couple of months ago. It gives moisture and slip and makes my hair so easy to de-tangle.  I don't even use a comb these days.  Leave-in conditioners don't seem to have any effect, so I decided to leave some regular conditioner in after I rinse.  This has really increased my moisture level.  Usually, my hair dries up and dries out within 10 minutes after adding a leave-in.  I feel the effect of leaving some conditioner in even after my twists dry.

4. I sit under the dryer with my twists

I decided to do this just to open up my cuticles more to let the products absorb more.  Even if I only sit under the dryer for 10-20 minutes, my hair retains so much moisture and is much shinier when I take the twists out.  Lately I've been flat twisting since it takes less time, and this has really been working for me.

5. I moisturize and seal at least once a day  

Thick moisturizers haven't done much for my hair, so now I'm using a more watery moisturizer.  Africa's Best Kids Organics Shea Butter Detangling Moisturizing Hair Lotion has been my moisturizer of choice. I then seal with castor oil.  I had been doing all of this research on low porosity hair, but every rule does not apply to every head.  My hair doesn't like heavy moisturizers, but it does like castor oil, which is heavier than most oils. 

I have been washing my hair once a week, but I may need to go to twice a week.  By the 5th or 6th day, my hair is still moist, but doesn't behave the way I want it to.

Other than the semi-permanent color, I haven't bought any hair products for almost a month and a half.  Go me! 

One Year Since Last Relaxer

My last relaxer was on 2/4/12.  I totally forgot yesterday that it was the anniversary of my last relaxer!  The time went by a lot faster than I thought it would.

My natural journey has been really interesting.  I've been frustrated, surprised, proud, and a lot of other emotions over the past year.  I do not regret going natural at all.  I feel like I'm just now realizing what my hair likes and doesn't like.  This truly has been a journey, and I'm looking forward to the next year!

Again, thank you to everyone for the tips and encouragement.

Black Tips

Last week was a good hair week.  I wore a twistout for 4 days.  I was able to keep it moisturized, so I really got to see my true texture in a healthy state.  I noticed that from the roots to about 3 inches is wavy and smooth, while my ends are wiry, course and straw-like.  Also, my tips are black...the semi-permanent color I had in May ended up being permanent! I've said it before, but I really mean it this time: I WILL NEVER GET A BLACK COLOR AGAIN.  It causes too much damage and now I know for sure it changes the texture of my hair.  I really want to just cut the black out so I can experience my true hair texture, but I want to wait another month or two to get a little more length.

To think that since I big chopped almost 5 months ago, I thought my hair was course with no real curl pattern, when it was really the color that made it this way!

I'm really excited to work with a full head of healthy color-free hair.  I think my ends will behave so much better.  If I get impatient over the next couple of months, I may do small dustings every couple of weeks until the black is gone.

September 2012 Update

It's been almost 3 months since my big chop, and I'm just moving along.  No big updates.  I'm still co-washing every day, mostly because I swim and/or work out every day- not because of tangles or because I need the moisture, thank goodness.  I haven't really tried any new styles but a wash and go because of all of the exercise.  My hair was shedding a lot in the shower, which I think was okay, but I decided to incorporate a little more protein just in case.  So for the last week or two, I have been co-washing every other day with Mane and Tail conditioner.  I love that stuff. It smells so good and I like how my hair feels when I'm using it.  The shedding has definitely slowed down from using a product with protein.  I wash my hair about once a week with either very diluted baking soda or Giovanni 50:50 Balanced Hydrating-Clarifying Shampoo. I deep condition once a week with Kenra conditioner. It really keeps my hair moist.  Last weekend when I ran out of my Ecostyler with Olive Oil gel, I used the argan oil formula and it was just okay.  My hair felt a little harder and dryer than when I use the olive oil formula, so I'll still with the olive oil gel.

Sorry I don't have any recent pictures (they're coming!), but I can definitely tell that my hair is growing.  I feel more hair in my hands when I wash and style my hair.  One day last week when I looked in the mirror, I could tell a difference in the length and the curl pattern, and for the first time in a long time, I loved what I saw!

I've been slacking on the henna, but I'm going to try to do a treatment this weekend.  My grays are really starting to come in around my hairline. I don't love that my grays are a reddish/orange while the rest of my hair is dark brown, but I don't know what else to do.  I don't want to do an indigo treatment, because I don't want black hair.  Semi-permanent colors that I'm not allergic to really don't cover my grays. Plus, I co-wash every day, so I don't think it would last long anyway.  I'm still nervous about going lighter.  I'm still weighing my options.

I've been taking biotin since I big chopped.  I don't notice a difference, but that's probably because I've been taking it since I cut my hair.  I'm going to continue taking it. Besides the constant exercise, I've been eating a lot of fruits, vegetables and eggs.  I also juice vegetables and carrots 4-5 times a week.  Hopefully all of this is helping to keep my hair healthy and strong.

I'm really excited about the next few months and what my hair will do.

5 Days Natural

It's been 5 days since my big chop.  I'm hanging in there!  I still don't regret doing it, although I have had a few frustrated moments:

* The hair on top still has some relaxed ends, but I'm afraid to cut them.  The texture on top is different than the rest of my head because it doesn't curl/kink like the back and the sides.  I don't want to cut too much off making the top shorter than the rest.  I also don't know if there's some heat damage going on, or my curl patter really is looser there.  I'm going to just keep using small rollers on the top until it grows a little more.

* I haven't been experimenting with products like I wanted to, because I've had to work, and I don't want to risk a crazy looking hair day.  I've only been using Ecostyler gel.  This weekend, I'm going to try some curling products.

* I still don't know what I'm using as a moisturizer.  Lucky for me, my hair hasn't  been too dry.  I've been using Giovanni Direct Leave-in after I co-wash, and on days I don't co-wash, I spray some water/coconut oil mix on my hair.

* I've been getting some good feedback so far.  I went to a party the other day where a lot of my friends were, and they gave me some nice compliments.  I've been told I have the face for it, that I look younger, and short hair is what I always should wear.  The only people who don't like it are my father and this guy at my job. I could care less what either of them thinks.

The journey continues...

Bye Bye Lye

I big chopped this weekend!  I went to my friend who works at a salon.  I've never gone to her before, but I wanted a professional to cut my hair.  I figured if I did it, it would be uneven.  Also, I don't own any good scissors (yet).  She did some things I wish she hadn't, but hey, it's done.  I went in with my hair in a rod set.  She just started cutting.  Before I knew it, there were relaxed curls on the floor.

The she washed my hair.  I asked her not to use shampoo, since I just shampoo'd 3 days prior, but she said I need it (ugh)  After is was wet, she blow dried it (ugh) to cut it into a shape.  Then, she wet and conditioned it again to get it to curl.  She wanted to play with it by adding some product and twisting it, but I wouldn't let her.  I left the salon with a wiry, crazy looking afro, but I was determined to fix it myself when I got home.  She has a really short haircut, but she goes to the barber to get it done, and she uses a relaxer.  So, she's not used to doing natural hair.

I had a picture of myself when I left the salon, but I deleted it from my camera by mistake.  Maybe I did it subconsciously?? ;-)

When I got home, I jumped in the shower and co-washed with Suave Coconut conditioner.  I got out and used a little as a leave in.  My hair was still pretty wiry, not really curly.  I applied some jojoba oil, and some Ecostyler gel, and started twisting.  The back and the sides twisted okay, but the front and the top wasn't cooperating.  So I put in 5 or 6 perm rods and sat outside in the heat for a little while.  When I took the rollers out, the top was curly.

The next day I went to the beach, and just sprayed my hair with my coconut oil and water mix.  I didn't get my hair too wet at the beach, but I co-washed when I got home and did the same thing I did the day before.  The next morning, I noticed that I still had some spiky ends, which I think were relaxed pieces, so I cut them myself.

I think my hair is in shock, and it will probably take a week or two for it to curl on its own.  I bought some products, but have only used the gel.  My hair is long enough to twist, so maybe I'll try some flat twists.

Right now I don't love my hair, but I don't hate it either.  I don't regret cutting it.  I'm happy to be natural.  I'm happy not to have to depend on a stylist. I'm happy to be free!

4 Months Transitioning

Today marks exactly 4 months since my last relaxer.  A little over 17 weeks to be exact.  Although dealing with my new growth and the 2 textures has been challenging, there hasn't been a day that I wanted to relax.  I just know that that the relaxer was doing more harm than good to my hair, and that my hair is on it's way to being healthy- even if that takes a little longer than I want.

Honestly, there's not much I have to add about learning about my hair.  I haven't found any magical products or techniques....yet.  I've just been trying to maintain it.  I have learned how to air dry it so that it stays relatively moist, thanks to aloe vera juice and jojoba oil.  I have been trying different products and styles to see what my hair responds to best.  I also am slowly learning how to manage my edges, and I hope to have a solid method to tame my edges in a week or so.  I've been using heat a little more than I want to, but I will continue to experiment with no-heat styles until I find something that looks nice and is good for my hair.

My new growth had been really hard for me to deal with, but, it seems to softening up some.  I had read about scab hair before, but wasn't sure if I believed in it.  Now, I'm really starting to understand what it is and what it means.

Scab hair is grown the period after you stop relaxing when the scalp is getting rid of the chemicals. During the scab hair period the scalp and hair may not look or feel normal. Sometimes scab hair is just a completely different texture than the true texture that should be growing out of your head. Sometimes scab hair can grow out straighter or look more dry and damaged than your natural hair type.  Some naturals never experience scab hair, but I am!

From essence.com:
Newly grown hair that is dry, wiry and crinkly. If you recently big chopped and previously had a relaxer, the follicle may have been damaged previously from using the relaxer. Scab hair doesn’t represent the actual texture of your natural hair.

For the first 3+ months of my transition, my new growth was so dry and wiry and I've been so frustrated. This wiry texture has not responded to products, leaving it more dry.  I have had a consistent relaxer for over 20 years, so I'm sure there is some damage that occurred below my scalp.  Some of my natural friends have told me that it has taken up to a year for their true texture to show itself.  Just in the past week I have noticed that my new growth is coming in a little softer and curlier.  Even my edges have been laying down easier with little product.  I will continue to pray for better manageability!

April 2012 Update

I'm almost 13 weeks post relaxer- the longest I think I've ever gone.  Yay me!  I am definitely planning on transitioning to natural, but I'm open to texlaxing in a month or so if things get too hard for me.

I've been going to the salon every other week.  I get a rollerset and then they blow out my roots.  The salon I've been going to does a really good blowing out my roots on a low setting and still getting them straight. Straight hair definitely keeps my hair from shedding and breaking off as much.  Between the salon visits, I wash and deep condition my own hair.  I usually will rollerset and flat iron my roots.  I have tried airdrying.  FAIL.  I have tried braidouts.  FAIL. I end up with hard and extremely dry hair.  I welcome any tips or suggestions!

In the past few weeks, I've also been trying some new products and techniques, and have discovered a few things:

1. S-Curl is not my friend. I've tried using it different ways and in different quantities and I still don't like it. When I use a little, my hair feels dry and coated. When I use more, my hair feels wet and mushy. I hate how the product feels on my hands. I hate how it smells.  I will not be using S-Curl, Hawaiian Silky, Wave Nouveau, Carefree Curl, or any other similar products in the future. I just can't.

2. Argan Oil is my friend. Although I haven't used straight argan oil yet, my hair seems to really like products with argan oil in them. I've been using Hair One with argan oil, and Creme of Nature Shampoo with Argan Oil, and my hair comes out really moist and shiny. I've also been using serums with argan oil, and although I'm not convinced that products with silicones are good for my hair, I do get great first, second and third day hair with them.

I'm working on changing my mental state by appreciating women I see with natural hair. I am looking forward to having big hair that I can wear curly or straight.

This is not the best picture, just one of me and my son being silly, but I did my hair myself (rollerset + pincurls):

Something Has to Change

Over the past 6 months, I've seriously considered transitioning to natural.  Between my getting older, and my hair getting longer, I just don't like how thin my hair looks, even when it's in a healthy state.  Even when my stylist using a mild relaxer, my hair just comes out too straight for my taste.  Maybe I'll try self-texlaxing in about a month, when I'm at least 12 weeks post relaxer, but I really want to stretch it out and figure out how to manage my new growth.  I've had a relaxer since I was 13, and I would like to see what my real texture is like.  I'm sure it's changed, AND since I wasn't properly conditioning my hair when I was younger, I don't know if I ever knew what my texture was.  All I know is that I cannot and will not continue to abuse my hair with a bone straight relaxer.  My mother, her sister, and my aunts on my father's side have all said that their hair just couldn't take relaxers at some point.

The other night I talked to my girlfriend who has been natural for quite a while now. She wears weaves mostly, but lets her natural hair out every couple of months or so.  She is really encouraging, even if I don't want to wear my natural hair the way she wears hers.  I know that this will be a new journey for me- physically and mentally.  I also know that I'll probably have to start over with most of my products and tools.  On one hand, I'm scared and worried, but on the other hand, I know that if I take care of my hair properly and listen to what it needs, I will have such a better head of hair.  Also, even though I only go to the salon for relaxers and trims, I would save so much money and time being a complete DIYer.  I hate going to the salon. I am hardly ever happy with how my hair looks after I leave, and I feel like I'm wasting precious time when I could be doing other things.

January 2012 Update

Since I got my hair done this past weekend, I've been trying to keep things simple:

* Moisturize and seal with ORS Hair Lotion and coconut oil every other night
* On the nights I don't moisturize and seal, I put coconut oil on my ends
* Wrap my hair every night, but change the direction of the wrap every other day so I still have body and no breakage
* Apply a drop of Keala oil to my hair before I take the wrap down in the morning

I am happily surprised that my hair looks and feels so good at 9 weeks.  I haven't had any breakage and not too much shedding, which is so rare for me at this point.  I plan to get a relaxer at 10 weeks.  I'll wash my hair this weekend, and will probably put in a black rinse, but I have no idea how I'll wear my hair until my relaxer...maybe set it?  Or air dry, then blow out the roots a little and wear a bun for a week.

Although I would love to be able to style my own hair all of the time, I have liked my hair all week for the first time in months.  Not worrying about how my hair looks has made the other things in my life easier.  So, I will try to get my hair done every 2 weeks or so for a while, at least until my hair is back at the health level I want it to be.

Besides moisturizing and sealing on a consistent basis, I have also started taking vitamins again.  Even though I eat well, I'm probably a little Vitamin D deficient.  Vitamin D is essential for strong and healthy hair, and makes our hair able to absorb much needed nutrients for growth. People of color, especially in the northeast and other cold climates, often have a Vitamin D deficiency.  That coupled with the fact that I haven't been eating or drinking a lot of dairy in the past 6 months, AND that I haven't followed my doctor's order to start taking Vitamin D last spring- I probably need some kind of supplement.  Hopefully, I see some good results.

My bun from last week

I'll try to post some more pics soon.  I've been so bad at taking pictures lately!